My ex put a restraining order on me but she contact me first told me that she did do it days go by we are talking and hanging out and in violation an is her restraining order revoked
If the restraining order is still valid, then yes, you are in violation. Even if she contacts you first. She cannot undo or turn off the judge's order. In fact, I frequently see this situation where one partner gets a protective order then appears to make up in order to trap the other person. Stop talking to her.